The Decision...

Okay, so after receiving counsel form my priesthood leaders, and receiving advice from my parents, family, and my home teachers, I decided to go ahead and quit my job. Maybe, it just wasn't my time.

But, there was something that wasn't sitting right with me. I wanted to be a stay at home mom, but at what cost to others, and how fair is that to my employer who just spent time & money to train me for the past two weeks? Plus, the schedule for February was already out, so I felt horrible that I would be leaving them empty handed. But then there are my kids!! AH, I felt like I was being pulled in two different directions!!

I went into work yesterday thinking that I would pull my boss aside and quit, or at least offer to finish out the schedule so that she would not get screwed.

My stomach was in knots!! I HATE confrontation, and I hate knowing that I have let someone down!

I walked in, and looked for my boss...all my co-workers were there, but no boss. SHOOT! Now what do I do? So I waited for her to show up, but then right as she walked in, she immediately escorted us to the computer lab because we were supposed to do computer training yesterday. Now how was I supposed to tell her?? Everyone was following her down a long corridor, and I couldn't just pull her aside then! So, after we got seated and everyone was at their computer, she mentioned the schedule. I slowly whispered her name so that I could chat with her privately about it. Now, I was really sick!! I was so scared that she would be mad, or offended!

But, I calmly explained to her the problem, and told her that childcare was an issue, and that I felt like maybe I had bitten off more than I could chew, so I probably just needed to quit now, and stay home with my kids. There was dead, awkward silence for about 5 seconds. So then I quickly interjected, "well, maybe if you want I could at least finish out the schedule so that I don't leave you empty handed." She quickly smiled, and asked another girl if she wanted to change schedules with me since I was in a bind with childcare? I would do part time for that one month, and that girl would go full-time. The girl agreed...I agreed...and we changed it on the schedule.

So, now I am part-time, still nights. But only doing 9 shifts this month. I feel much better about this!!! I feel at peace, and comforted that it is fair for everyone. I am happy that I can still use my skills and my boss didn't get screwed. One shift this month the kids will be at there dads, and one shift they will be at their cousins. So I only had to find childcare for 7 other shifts, and luckily some girls in my ward offered to help out. Plus the times that I need to sleep, they will be at school, and Ash will be at a friends &/or her cousins. It all seems to work out perfectly!

I will just finish out the schedule, and see how it goes. The plan is just to do this for one month. BUT, if the kids are adjusting well, and I am still feeling peaceful, than I will stay on for the month of March. I guess I will just take it one month at a time.

Ah, a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders!! What peace a good decision brings!

And the added bonus, I won't be such a financial burden on those around me.

On a side note, I got a king-sized bed yesterday!! After exactly 3 months of sleeping on the couch, I got a king sized bed!! A friend in the ward offered it to me, and even had some men in the elder's quorm deliver it to my house yesterday...complete with a sheet set! Let me tell you how heavenly it was to stretch out, and sleep diagonally for a night! Blessings all around. I am so glad that I didn't go into debt to get a bed, and that I just waited patiently for one to come along. (yes, other people had offered me their beds, but they were ones from their guest rooms, and I didn't want to impose or inconvience anyone, so I always turned them down. But this was one that they were giving away for free, because they got a new one.) The ironic part was that Noah got sick last night, so he was able to sleep with me on the bed, and I was able to keep a closer eye on him.

Everyday I continue to feel blessed!