30th Birthday

Today is my 30th Birthday!!!

Oddly enough, I have been excited to be in my 30's for a LONG time!

I always figured that my 30's would be the best years of my life...you know...the whole fantasy/dream of being the soccer mom, driving the mini van, having 6 kids, the big house with the white picket fence, the golden retriever, and the love of a good man...maybe I watch way too much TV! But I really did always think I would love my 30's.

Here's the crazy thing.

I will be the 'soccer mom,' driving the mini van, probably with 5-6 kids, and have the big house with the golden retriever, and will have the love of a GREAT man! And I owe it all to Brandon.

He has and is making all my dreams come true!

So today to celebrated...well...I packed.

I know, I really lived it up!

I honestly didn't do anything but clean, clean some more, pack, do laundry, and then pack so more.

By the time the kids got home from school, I was ready for a break! So, the 4 of us quickly headed out to dinner to celebrate. We went to eat at Logan's Steakhouse...I picked it only because kids could eat for free on Tuesdays! See, I can be frugal even on my birthday.

The kids each got a meal for free, and I got Steak & Garlic shrimp...YUM! We all had drinks, and the kids even got to eat $0.99 ice cream sundaes...and all for just $20.98!!! WAHOO for cheap dinners! But then to treat myself, we went through the 'Sheridan's Frozen Custard' drive through on the way home, and I got myself a LARGE strawberry cheesecake concrete!! HEAVENLY!!

Although, I can honestly say, I feel so sick right now...I am STUFFED!

Well, the kids are in bed, and I am just blogging one last post before my cable/Internet/phone service get shut off tomorrow. So, goodbye for now. I will hopefully post again soon.

FYI-I pick up the moving truck on Thursday, load it that night, then pick up Brandon from the airport at 11p. Clean the town home Friday morning, shampoo the carpets, and then head over to a friends house for dinner. Then I work Friday night, they called and asked if I wanted one more shift, I figured I might as well make a little extra money while Brandon is here and can watch the kids. Then Saturday morning Brandon will leave here with the moving truck, and with my van attached behind it, and head for Arizona.

Me and the kids will then stay one more week with our cousins...I can't leave the state until June 3...custody issue.

Although, it will be really nice to hang around with our cousins for a week and just relax! No school, no work, no packing...just some fun!

Then on June 3 me and the kids will fly to Arizona...how nice will that be?! Only a 2 hour flight instead of a 21 drive!! SWEET!

Lots going on, but yet I am still ever mindful on how blessed I am.

Life is good.

PARTY Like it's 1989!!

This last weekend my sister, Janel, flew in to throw me an awesome party!!!

Tomorrow I will turn 30, and on Thursday I pack the moving truck to move to Arizona, so it was my...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY/

GOING AWAY/

BACHLORETTE PARTY!!!!

The only sad thing was that I wish I would've taken more pictures!!!

My sister Janel...what can I say about her? Well, she is 100% herself at all times. What you see is what you get, and that is the main reason why I love her! Plus the fact that she is honest, funny, caring, genuine...let's just say that I am proud to not just call her my sister, but also my best friend! She is AMAZING!!

So Saturday she flew in from Columbus, Ohio and we immediately went to the grocery to get the food, cake, and some last minute items for the party.

She busily got to work on the food downstairs...while entertaining my three kiddos, while I went upstairs and folded laundry and cleaned for a bit. Can I just say how nice it was to have another adult around to help watch kiddos?? Granted, she has 5, so my three probably seemed easy...but still...it was heavenly for me!

Later that afternoon we took the kids to a close by park where you can feed wild buffalo...I know, it's crazy what us mid-westeners do for entertainment!

Then we came home, and started throwing around ideas for the wedding invitations. I already had them printed, and such, I just couldn't decide what I wanted to do to them to dress them up.

While doing this, I hear my front door open, and I look over to see my best friend Katie coming in!! She drove 6.5 hours from Minneapolis, Minnesota to surprise me and come to my party! Isn't she awesome!?

These two girls are my besties! They have seen me at my worst of times, and have stuck by me. They never judge me, and they are seriously the best listeners! I am so blessed to call them my best friends!

Well, the theme for the party that Janel threw me was a 1980's theme...fitting since I was born in 1981. But everyone that was invited was asked to wear 80's attire...well...only us three did it. But who cares...we had a blast!

Janel made a cake that was raunchy only by Mormon standard, and yet I think some seemed shocked! Especially because there was a tag on it that had the word 'PENIS' on it! AHHH!

Not that word!! :)

It was funny! I love that girl! She is so creative!

Anyways, the party was a blast, and I was so blessed to have some of my dearest friends come. Plus, it was an added bonus that most of them got me presents...lingerie to be exact! I'm not going to lie...I LOVED IT! And I am sure that Brandon will too...in 5 more weeks!

Who knew there were so many different kinds of thongs!? Hehe!

Anyways...

BEST

NIGHT

EVER!!!!

Thanks Janel...you are the best!!!

80's food...nachos, Chexmix, Bubble Gum, orange Crush soda...hehe!

My 'Panty Parfait!' Complete with a cherry on top. This was the party favor...everyone that came got to take home a new panty/thong...man, were there going to be a lot of happy husbands that night! And yes, for those of you that wondered...there is such a thing as crouchless panties. :)

My cake...Ken and Barbie were getting it on under the sheets!

Upclose picture of the sign stuck in my cake...seriously, it cracked me up! Get it?? Happenis?? Hahahahaha!!

Me and Katie...love the side pony tails and blue eyeshadow??

Me and Janel...she should've won a prize for best hair!

My bachlorette shirt that people got to sign.

My friends...right before the 'not so G-rated' game started.

Everyone picking out their panty to take home. Love Janel's hair!!!

My favorite present...there were three boxes.

The first box read...'what your mom will want you to wear.' And it had blue floral 'granny' pj's in it.

The second box read...'what you will want to wear.' And it had a black lacy push up bra with a matching black lacy thong!

And the third box read...'what Brandon will want you to wear.' And it only had earrings in it!

Hahahahaha!

And by the way...NO!...I didn't take pictures of any of my actual presents.

Hello!!!

Brandon reads this blog!

I can't have him seeing that!!

Side story...most of my blankets and such are packed up. Literally, there are boxes packed up, and taped up, on every floor on my townhouse! Well, I only left one blanket out for me to sleep with. All the extras are already in boxes. I figured when Janel came, we would share it, since we would probably sleep together on one bed. Anyways, I had put that blanket in the washer earlier that day so that it would smell good, and be clean of cat hair. Well, guess who forgot to rotate it to the dryer?? Yup...me.

Katie, Janel, and I get home from my party at 3am, and I run upstairs to get the blanket for Katie (thinking that Janel and I could sleep with one that I had just gotten as a present at my party)...that's when I realized it was still in the washer...wet! Well, we weren't about to wait an hour for it to dry! So I gave Katie the brand new blanket to sleep with on the couch. I then stayed downstairs talking with Katie for awhile, and then went upstairs to sleep on my bed with my sister. Poor Janel must've already realized at this point that there were no blankets in the house, so she was snuggled up on bed...asleep...covered with a big a sweater she took from my 'Goodwill' pile, and a towel!!!! She looked freezing! I ended up taking a blanket from Lily, and one from Ashlyn (they have multiple blankets, but all kid/baby sized still), and proceeded to cover Janel with one, and then I slept with one. What a trooper though! She throws me a party, and then has to sleep with a towel literally wrapped around her feet, a sweater over her shoulders, and a baby blanket across her middle, just to stay warm!

That's love.

Too bad I didn't get a picture of that! hehe

'The Princess and the Pea'

Lily did a puppet show today in her classroom, so here are just a few shots.

Holding up her puppet...

Lily and her first grade teacher, Miss Dulle

Last Day of Work

This was me last night...

As I was leaving for my last night at my job.

The green scrubs...well, they grew on me.

I don't even know what to say about this post, except for...NO REGRETS!

No regrets about doing hospice.

No regrets about working nights.

And no regrets about leaving my kids at night...it was good for them to see their mom working hard to provide.

It hands down was the best & most rewarding job I have ever had!! Yes, it wasn't the most glamorous. No one really wants to change adult briefs, do post-mortem care, and deal with a LOT of body fluids! But, somehow I ended up seeing past all that. All I saw were a lot of people in pain, and very close to their Heavenly Father. And actually, I ended up liking taking care of them in that way. It humbled me.

Just last Saturday my patient held my hand and said to me, "pray with me. Jesus is here to take me, and I want to make sure I have no pain as he does." And then we prayed together. The next morning she passed.

This job has been life changing.

It has made me want to be a better person.

It has taught me patience.

But most of all, it has reminded me of how precious life is, and that at the end of this life, all we have is our families. They are priceless, and they are the only ones that will be there with us in the end.

I feel blessed just to have had the opportunity to hold someone's hand as they passed from this life to the next. Literally.

What a blessed, and powerful experience this has been for me.

I truly will miss my job!!!

No regrets.

Memory Box

Yesterday was exactly the 6 month mark since my divorce was finalized. Talk about feeling like a failure! I feel like I failed my kids...and in a big way!

They deserved better. They deserved to see two parents who loved each other unconditionally. Respected each other. And who were at least trying their best. They certainly didn't deserve to have ever the words, "my parents are divorced," come out of their mouth.

And although life is 10x better for them now than it was many months ago...it's still a huge burden that I will carry with me for the rest of my life. (Although, I am still 100% confident that I made the right decision). I am overly sad that this has happened to them

So, I have been trying to think of something that I could do for them.

Well, here is what I came up with.

A memory box.

This memory box will have all the "love" letters that I still have from between their dad and I, old anniversary cards, and even birthday cards one to another. It will include my wedding ring, which although I don't want, I can't bare to get rid of in case they ever wanted it. It will have our wedding scrapbook, and pictures of their dad and I from when things were "good," etc, etc.

Then when Noah, Lily, and Ash are old enough. I will give the box to them so that they can remember that at one point, their parents had a relationship that may not have been a great one, but it was at least one that got me them.

Does that all make sense?

I just don't know what else to do, but to keep those "good" memories in a box for when they are older. They deserve at least that...those memories...even if they aren't the memories that hold the

truth.

Brandon and I needed to get our engagement pictures done, but I figured that since we were paying a photographer, we might as well get the kids pictures done, and our family pictures done too. Granted, we aren't technically a family yet, but in 6 weeks we will be! Enjoy!

(Oh, I am one week away from turning 30!
Brandon is 33 years old
Noah Michael will be 10 on July 9th
Liliana Belle turns 7 on May 31
And Ashlyn Grace just turned 4 on March 2nd)