Yesterday was exactly the 6 month mark since my divorce was finalized. Talk about feeling like a failure! I feel like I failed my kids...and in a big way!
They deserved better. They deserved to see two parents who loved each other unconditionally. Respected each other. And who were at least trying their best. They certainly didn't deserve to have ever the words, "my parents are divorced," come out of their mouth.
And although life is 10x better for them now than it was many months ago...it's still a huge burden that I will carry with me for the rest of my life. (Although, I am still 100% confident that I made the right decision). I am overly sad that this has happened to them
So, I have been trying to think of something that I could do for them.
Well, here is what I came up with.
A memory box.
This memory box will have all the "love" letters that I still have from between their dad and I, old anniversary cards, and even birthday cards one to another. It will include my wedding ring, which although I don't want, I can't bare to get rid of in case they ever wanted it. It will have our wedding scrapbook, and pictures of their dad and I from when things were "good," etc, etc.
Then when Noah, Lily, and Ash are old enough. I will give the box to them so that they can remember that at one point, their parents had a relationship that may not have been a great one, but it was at least one that got me them.
Does that all make sense?
I just don't know what else to do, but to keep those "good" memories in a box for when they are older. They deserve at least that...those memories...even if they aren't the memories that hold the
truth.
2 comments:
I think that is a beautiful idea. There's no need for the later years to sour the good times that brought those three babies into your life. I'm sure they will be grateful for the memories.
LOVE this! Everything you said is 100% true. They do need to realize they are loved and they came from love. You are amazing!:)
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