Sometimes I think that people are just waiting for me to say how hard things are. To say that it's been rough the past 4 months. To just admit to one negative thing. Maybe my blog seems too cheery at times, but the reality is that I have a REALLY great life! This is the best I have felt in say about...13 years! I have rough days. Yes. Who doesn't? But overall, I feel amazing!


But you want reality?


Here it is...


Yes, sometimes it is hard!

I have worked the past 4 out of 5 nights, and I am therefore EXHAUSTED!! Exhausted like I have never felt exhaustion before in my life!! 


I woke up on Wednesday morning, and then by the time I went to bed on Friday night....62 hours later, I had only had 9.5 hours of sleep!!!!!!!!!!!! I was a walking zombie. Literally. I think I was just going through the motions of most things...cleaning, loading the dishwasher, vacuuming, even bathing. Sad, I know. But it's the reality of being a single working mom that works nights! I try to sleep 7 hours the day after I work, but sometimes that doesn't work out. Maybe appointments can't be moved...people ring my doorbell...the neighbor is loud...or I am just unable to sleep because I have too much on mind. But I do try to get some sleep in!


And it really hasn't been bad up until now. Not that it is bad now either. It has just been a long 5 days.


I slept 10 hours on Friday night, and felt mostly caught up. 


Then Saturday work called and wanted to know if I could pull a 12-hour shift that night for in-home continuous hospice care. I agreed because not only do I need the income (another post/another story...maybe), but also because I really do just love what I do!


Well, I worked a 12-hour shift, then I went home and slept for 4 hours before I had to get up and get ready for church. Then I worked last night, Sunday.


And this morning I only got 4 hours of sleep again. So I am at about 8 hours of sleep since Saturday morning...give or take the few winks I got during my in-home shift on Saturday.


So, today I am sitting here...unmotivated to do anything! Literally, the idea of even getting up to pee doesn't thrill me. At this point I am trying to convince myself I can hold it longer. 


So TIRED!!


BUT


No regrets!! 


I love what I do, and I love that I have such amazing kids that just roll with it! They love to go to people's houses, and they are very easy-going about it all! That is truly a blessing! Plus, the fact that my kids are AWESOME sleepers!! In fact, when I go to my friends house to get them in the morning, after I have worked, they are almost always still asleep, and I have to wake them...at 7:30am! They sleep all night, and then go to bed easily! That truly is a blessing! It makes it easier on me while I am gone, and it makes it easier on my friends, who volunteer to help watch the kids so that I can provide for them. 


I have AMAZING friends!


So, there you have it.

Life is sometimes hard.


I have three sweet little Spirits who rely on me for EVERYTHING! I provide for their every need, and although it might seem overwhelming for some, I LOVE IT! I love knowing that I am dong it! I am doing the whole single mom thing! And I think I am doing a great job at it...if I do say so myself. My kids are healthy, happy, doing great at school, and are really well adjusted to all the changes. They are amazing! It's a pride thing, I guess. It makes me so happy knowing that I am doing it! The whole working mom thing, housekeeper thing, holding a calling thing...I am doing it!


So, yes, it's hard sometimes. I am sleep deprived, and I have a lot on my plate. But the blessing far out weigh everything else!